In his latest Book, "Marriage : 100 Stories Around India's Favourite Ritual", Devdutt Pattanaik, India's mythologist writes about marriage rituals across India.

He writes "In Hindu temples gods and goddesses get married. Marriage is as much a divine rite of passage (samskaara) as a human one. It marks the union of matter (prakriti) and spirit (purusha). Matter, because it brings in new wealth, status, pleasure, security, and usher in the next generation, who can inherit the family name and estate. Marriage is described as 'shubh mangal' 'kalyan', full of auspiciousness, goodness and fortune." ( Book extract from Scroll.in)

THE SEQUEL

Bertrand Russel in "Marriage and Morals", says "Marriage is vulgar, people cover it with ceremonies".

In Hindu tradition, marriage is sacred sacrament and sacrosanct.

In not-so-olden days, Tamil's marriages lasted for 3 days; I remember someone telling me, this was a reduced revelry of earlier one-week! Guests would pour in from different parts, weeks in advance. Later, it was shortened to two days. The present trend has made it a one-day affair.

Kerala weddings are a simple two-hour ritual, where the groom wears the new MUNDU and shirt, and the bride in her new finery exchange MALAS, do PRATIKSHINA around the deity and KUTHU VALAKKU, and the gusts given SADYA. All is that!

But, some defy the convention, like Nikil-Eunika pair, and go to the Arabian sea at Kovalam beach and do under-water marriage. (The first of the type conducted in India). All for "a licence to the roving hand to allow to go before, behind, between, above and below!" (quote from Donne). Alliance gives allowance; "Maximum opportunity with least resistance," (G.B.Shaw) The unfettered freedom is what makes marriage great!

When Malayali couple say, "I've done it", the Tamil couple cannot be far behind! They - Chinnadurai and Swetha - (both scuba divers) went enough distance inside the rough Bay where the water was sixty feet deep to swear to one another, with cameramen in action, their relatives waiting over the water with bated breath for their safe return. Return, they did! Thus, many venture into the unchartered water, literally.

"Marriage has many pains but celibacy has no pleasure", said a know-all.

Rakesh and Dakshina engaged a Spice Jet and tied the naughty knot mid-air, throwing Covid caution to the wind! While the couple were led to the altar by their Jing-bang gang, the job of the crew is now on the scrutiny altar!

All this bizzare deeds are also some type of rites, or ceremony.

Once they are declared man and wife, "somehow, the male ceases to be attracted to any other female, and the female, ceases to be attractive to any other male". (Russell).

This is more conspicuous in Tamil filmdom, where a oh! butter-would-not-melt-in-her-mouth heroine-babe, a damning damsel, after marriage shunned for lead roles, returns years later and settles to be a "harried harridan"!

Love leads to matrimony, always; matrimony to love, rarely. Infatuation to saneness, always; saneness to infatuation, rarely.

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever! One should not have an Aiswarya Roy for wife, for she cannot escape the voyeuristic ogling. Draupadi was one among the 'Panja kanyas' - beautiful women, in her time, according to Chitra Banerjee Divakarunee. Others were Sita, Ahalya, Mandodari and Tara. They have temples built for them.

Arjuna fought with Drupada, and won both the fight and Draupadi's hands! She was brought to the hermitage, where Kunti and her sons were living incognito. Yudishtira saw the new woman in splendour and was smitten by her oozing charm. He was sure this woman would be a cause for rift amongst brothers. So, with the consent of mother Kunti, he made Arjuna agree to the proposal for sharing Draupadi among the Pandavas. She was wife for one at a time for every year, and the cycle repeated! She bore a son for each of them.

A man took baaraat ride, did Kashi yatra, got Kanya daan, witnessed Arundati; just, for liking dimple in her cheeks and falling in love with the whole woman! Who said. "Possession pollutes pleasure?" Familiarity only breeds liking!